Let It Go

When it comes to friendships, I put myself in the worst friend category, but it's not because I'm a bad friend, it's because of my qualities or rather lack of qualities. I could write a list of all the "social" disabilities that I have, but what's the point, let's just say that when it comes to being social, I so suck at it. I screwed up a friendship awhile back, am SO glad it's OVER, but it's still awkward. I see the person on my facebook and I can't help but comment on her status. I drives me crazy, because my brain is screaming, "You stupid idiot, she screwed you over, don't give her the time of day." And I shouldn't. Another friend says "Take her off your friends list on facebook," which I could do, but then that would let her know that I'm no longer following her.

Oh wait, light bulb moment, facebook has a feature where I can hide her entries. Ha!! I'm so smart.

Not only do I have problems with friendships, I have problems with letting go of exes. Okay, no that's not the right wording, I have trouble of letting go of the stuff that happened between us. My daughter Aggi has a cousin who is an abusive relationship, it's been determined that she wants to leave her husband, just doesn't know quite how to do it, as he says all the things that make her think she won't stand a chance on her own. I've heard them all -

"You don't make enough money to support youself"
"I'll kill myself because I can't live without you"
"You need me"

Of course there are many more that I heard in my abusive relationship, but I can't think of them right now. I'm supposed to talk to this girl, she's actually almost 21. I'm scared. What if I say the wrong thing to her? I'm very strong in my beliefs when it comes to abusive relationships, because it's not easy to leave. I left my ex 5 times and every time I ended right back with him, because I wasn't ready. You have to be ready. You could move to Australia and if you aren't ready, you will be back with the guy in a matter of months. Being ready in my opinion is the key. My ex once told me something that I believe is very true.

"If you run away from your problems before resolving them, you will end up right back where you started."

That might not be true for everyone, but it is for me. I want this girl to be able to live a happy life, but I also want her to know that it's not easy to get up, leave someone who you love, are comfortable with, move several hundred miles, and start a new life. I did that 5 years ago and I know that if I had to go back and do it again, I would do the exact same things, but I know that I would be terrified.

~*~

The icon says - "All I know is that I tried, and I tried to make it alright."

In the case of my friendship with Andrea, who is the first person I talked about I did all I could to make it work and I have to find some way to let her go. I need to stop worrying and thinking about her. I need to stop wanting to hang out with her. I need to just let it all go, but how? Because while I know that we can NEVER be friends again, I can't let her go.

Same thing with my ex. Let me clarify that I have no contact with him at all. I do talk with his mom through facebook and that's probably why I still think of him.

~*~

Ya know, I am going to cut this short so that I can go fix some things on facebook, but a question first.

Anyone have suggestions how to get the thoughts of people out of your head?

Rich's kari