School Issues

It's been awhile since I have posted, so I think it's time that I do. I'm in enough trouble as it is with Master. Since school started, I think I have made it to my classes for a week and that's it. I take the girls to school in the morning, then I get to a stop sign and I can go two ways, left or right. Left takes me to school, right takes me home and all week I have gone right. Master isn't too happy with me, but I don't think that he understands what I'm going through. The thought of going to class makes me nausea's, I get all sweaty and just can't go. Today I talked to Master about dropping all of my classes and taking the semester off, his answer was "Don't give up," but in some ways I already have. My head just isn't in the school mode, I just plain 'ole don't care. My anxiety is through the roof, but taking something for it during the day just knocks me out, so how is that helpful?

I did meet with one of my professors today and he thinks that I should hang in there with my theory class, so I will. It's a lot of work for me, because I struggled so much last semester, that the review we are doing isn't really helping me. I'm hoping that by working really hard to understand it here at home that it will click and I'll be able to pull a decent grade out of it. My GPA is at a good spot and I don't want that to drop. I worked my ass off last semester to earn what I did.

I have been practicing the flute and piano more. I'm loving my piano lessons, I even love my piano teacher, she's pretty awesome. I'm hoping that I can pass the proficiency test before too much longer, as I just want to be done with piano. I know that I will have to take flute lessons until I graduate, but perhaps once I'm done with the proficiency test, then I can just take piano for fun.

I have to get my head back into school mode, otherwise I'm going to fail this semester.