Here in the small town of Saint George, we are slowly forming a lifestyle group. We have about 10 people on our yahoo group. Last week we had a successful discussion about orientation and toys, then we had a play party. It was fun for all of us.

I'm on fetlife, as many are from our group. Master came across a thread from a Dominant in our group and he wanted me to read it. It was about how Steel, that's the guys name, and his girl were having issues. She no longer wants to be his slave and he isn't sure what to do with that. He talked about his various options, but none really end up with both people being happy.

I can relate to this, as Master and I are going through it, except it's in the opposite roles. I'm a slave, there is no denying that. Master, is well, a sometime Master. I think that he would be happy not being one and that he only does it because it makes me happy. But it's not just that it makes me happy, it's what and who I am. I can't change that, no matter how hard I try to stuff it away. It just doesn't work.

We have rules, but in all honestly most of the rules I recommend and he said he was okay with. When I disobey, I have to remind him of what I did and ask him if there will be a punishment. It's tough, because I feel like I'm topping from the bottom, but it's the only way that there is any type of 24/7 lifestyle.

In the past when we started to try and add other slaves, he started asking me to help and guide him to start the relationship right. What rules to set because it was long distance, how to do things when he wasn't physically with the person. That was tough for me, because again I felt that I was topping from the bottom, that I was the Master and not him.

On the forum Steel listed options that he had. My options are a little different.

I could ask for release, but when I have in the past, he has said no.

I won't leave him. Again he would have to release me.

I don't believe in divorce. And I promised from day one that if divorce ever entered the picture, I would go to couples therapy first.

Therapy is out of the option, at least here in Utah. We aren't having a normal couples spat. He didn't cheat on me nor me on him. We aren't having issues with raising a child. We are having issues being Master/slave and how to you approach that to a therapist that is a strict Mormon, cause my therapist is.

Talking to Master today, we have agreed to keep on pluggin' along. In the last few days I have become more attentive. Trying to remember to ask him if he needs anything, catching up on the laundry. Doing the other chores and rules that we have set in place.

I'm trying and gonna pull my part, now it's up to him.

Rich's kari