I wish I may, I wish I might...

I wish I could say that voices and visions have gone away, but damn it I'm not that lucky! Tomorrow I see my psychiatrist tomorrow at 10am. It's a good thing I called, because he's going out of town for the rest of the week, so they are squeezing me in. That's good! Master asked me tonight what I'm seeing. *sigh* I hate telling people what I see because I think I know what they are thinking. I believe they are thinking well she's a nut job. So when Master asked me tonight, I accused Him of not believing me, why else would He question me? Obviously, my paranoia kicked in. He calmly told me that He knew that sometimes depending on the time of year, month, day, or situation I might see different things, so He was trying to help me figure out what was going on. I immediately apologized because I know now that He did believe me, my brain didn't though.

I'm hearing things that aren't there. I'll hear a female voice saying my name, then I turn and there is no one there. I hear my grandparents voices and the two that I am hearing died several years ago. I see something move out of the corner of my eye, then I turn to look, and nothing is there. I feel like people are watching me and that people are listening to my thoughts. To me it's like I'm thinking out loud, so people are starting at me.

Tomorrow though, I see the doctor.

Aggi hit a building today while she was driving. She and Master went to her work so she could talk to her boss about more hours. She went to park, hit the gas and ran into a building. She broke a glass window and killed the bush. The car was hurt more than anything else, it needs a new hood, grill, and bumper. We didn't get on her case, cause accidents happen and we figure at least she didn't hit a person or another car. Our car obviously needs some repairs, but we will get those done, just gonna take time. Hard to pay for it, when money is extra tight. Ugh!

I'm trying to keep my stress level down because I know that causes my anxiety and hallucinations to be worse, but trying to stay calm is easier said than done.

I need to go find myself a snack, cause I'm hungry. More tomorrow.

Rich's kari